Last week, I had my first in-person studio visit after a year of isolation. It was both really great and totally weird. I had to put pants on and brush my hair, which felt like WORK.
Basic things have felt weird since getting vaccinated — having friends in my house, eating in a restaurant, even hugs have felt a little strange? It's like our brains want to move forward but our bodies are still unsure.
As things slowly return to a new "normal" in the U.S., I feel hesitant. While the pandemic was (and still is) devastating for this country, it was a major smack-in-the-face-wake-up-call for each of us. It demanded an audit of our personal, political, spiritual, and creative lives. What needed to change?
On a personal level, I definitely learned a fuck-ton from being stuck in one place all year. Cancelled plans meant I had more emotional space to consider what I actually wanted to be doing with my time. It became pretty clear what I needed in order to thrive as an artist, and what I had previously been doing out of obligation — because I thought it was something I should be doing. It was insightful to say the least.
What do you want going "back to normal" to look like for you?
As much as we don't want to admit it, we get to decide what this looks like. You don't have to return to your pre-pandemic way of being, in fact you probably shouldn't! You are a different person than you were a year ago, and it would be unwise not to reflect on what you want to see changed now that some things are opening up again.
If you're feeling overwhelmed by this shift, you're not alone. Here's an exercise for reflecting on your creative life this past year and considering some learnings:
What did you realize you needed in order to thrive creatively? Community engagement? Childcare? Rest? Travel? For me, I didn't realize how much I missed going to Italy. I think about the things I value creatively as giving me fuel or "inspiration points." I get 10+ inspiration points when I go on a walk or connect with others, but I get 1000+ inspiration points when I travel. I wouldn't have realized this without a year stuck at home.
What's something you didn't miss at all this year? Personally, I enjoyed having a break from being over-scheduled. There were no art openings to attend, no work trips to coordinate, no obligation to maximize my year. When I look back on what I had planned for 2020 it looks absolutely INSANE to me now. I planned my year using a scarcity mindset framework("I'll never have this opportunity again! I gotta do it now!") vs. based on what I actually wanted to do. I have more respect for my energy and time, not to mention my body! These things are more precious than I ever realized.
Moving forward, what can you control? What can you not control? This is where most of us get stuck. We think we have little power over what our lives look like and get swept up in things we believe we must do. Be honest with yourself. What is something you've convinced yourself you can't control but perhaps you can? What is something that you're trying to control that you actually can't? Recognizing the difference is huge for making change.
So, what do you actually want the next year of your life to look like? It's a tough question, but sometimes just taking a minute to think about what you want is the first step in asking for it.
